Dad

My Dad died eight years ago today. I prefer not to remember nor commemorate the last day that he existed in his earthly body. Nonetheless, here I am doing so. I don't do it for my own sake - but for the sake of my family. Just a reminder. Nonetheless, here, in my personal space - I post this entry.  Here, I am looking for excuses to justify something I claim I'd rather not do. All I have to do is delete it... or, just not post it. Too late.

Life is full of rules, even our own, and when we break those rules we are called names. Something breaks down - if we don't follow the rules, then do rules really even exist??

A little side bar there.

No need to have regrets. Dad did it his way. He told me once he was afraid to die. I told him, "Then don't die." So he didn't. Not then, anyway. I like to think he wasn't afraid when he finally died.

Among the things I tell myself - to find comfort - is that he was replaced by the many children who were born to my friends that year. A lot of close friends became parents for the first (and some, only) time in 2008. I can usually think of close to a dozen from that year, on either side of his transition. Mental and emotional comfort and the search for meaning is a human thing. Some human things I accept, others I try to distance myself from.

What were our parents like before we knew them?