My Secret Desire(s)

The universe - and social media - are telling me two things; 1. 2016 is a year of transition and I am transforming, and 2. that I'm looking for love, secretly perhaps, regardless of the fact that I finally had the heart to add Find the love of my life to my top five list of things to do.

The latest nudge... Cyber space invited me to "Discover Which Emotion Your Subconscious Is Trying To Hide," by way of a test in which I choose several tarot cards based on which one catches my eye. I'm encouraged not to think too much about it; tough task for me, but I went for it.

That's about right, looks just like me too.

Here are the results... (I cannot resist these tests.)

Tarot: Your subconscious is hiding a deep and passionate love. It may be a romantic love or a passion in life, either way you are deeply in love with someone or something. The Tarot reveals a true romance, love affair, or strong passion ruling your subconscious and directing your actions from behind the scenes. You're sensitive and may even be a bit vulnerable, but you have a great deal of kindness and compassion for those around you. If you're currently in a relationship, this is one of the, if not THE, great love of your life. Listen to your heart, and you'll never go astray!


My take - I think it's more someTHING than someOne, and I'd say life itself and discovery. But at any moment someone could come into my life and answer all my questions.

I'm just down with the universe and getting away from here. It's worth noting that leaving Philadelphia comes ahead of Finding the love of my life.

Pisces Sun - Virgo Moon

I was born under a Full Moon in Virgo. I never really got into astrology, but when i heard about it I started reading my "charts" or at least about my characteristics. A lot of it seemed accurate and during the course of life i either became more Pisces, or Pisces became more me, in that I may have fashioned my personality to fit that which was described in astrology charts.

As i wrote this, it seems doubtful. On the one fish, I'm so contrary that I'd probably resist going along with the flow, on the other fish, I'm not sure we can stray very far from where our personality is supposed to be. In addition to the sun and the planets, I am a result of my surroundings and experiences. The times in which I've lived and the methods I've chosen to deal with the information I absorb from the world.

The last paragraph was very enlightening.I have highlighted some sentences that resonated with me.

Flashback image from April 2008... City Hall, Philadelphia

by Grant Lewi 

This comes from http://horoscopespot.net/pisces-sun-virgo-moon/

You are able to put your intuitions over and to bring them to bear logically on your life. You are a good judge of people, with an absolute determination of the correctness of your judgments. Once you are determined about the inner worth of an individual, nothing he can do, however erratic or unreasonable or reprehensible, will shake your faith in him; you understand him from the inside out, and you are willing to let him work out his own problems in his own way. You believe that “to understand all is to forgive all,” and though you are a harsh judge when you estimate a person to be fundamentally unsound, you are equally lenient when you know that the core of his being is sound. Your tolerance is specific rather than universal, intellectual rather than emotional, for you apply to your intuitions a high degree of logic and common sense by which you can make them plausible, both to yourself and others. This integration of facts felt and facts known gives you a quiet self-assurance which rises from the working together of your mental and emotional natures; these are not generally found at variance with each other.

You don’t find yourself doing by impulse things of which you disapprove; and though you may do things of which others disapprove, you have a good reason of your own why you are all right. Your conscience is a real force, but as you are tolerant of others you are also tolerant of yourself, and though you won’t often stray from the beaten track, when you do, you do it calmly and without excitement – with a quiet conviction that you are acting according to some code or other, which you may have made up for the occasion, but which is very real and definite to you. But, by and large, you will lead a conventional, orderly, and understanding life.  

You have a keen sense of humor, laughing readily, which may not give an accurate impression of your fundamentally serious nature. You are amused by life at the same time that you are acutely conscious of its underlying tragic implications. But this consciousness does not interfere with your enjoyment.  

You have a private litany of faith, a sort of exclusive metaphysics of your own, by which you weave together apparent contradictions into the integrated philosophy by which you live and estimate life. This position is mildly good for business activity of the non-executive variety, and also for such creative work as calls for accuracy, thought, and application, rather than inspirational creativeness. Makes good humorists and joke-smiths.

Pisces - Miracles & Disillusionment

Pulled this off the net today. I am Pisces and in true Pisces fashion I'm not sure whether my characteristics reflect my sign, or I've fashioned myself to what I've read over the years. In most cases I can say, "Yeah, that's me." And I recognize the traits of several of my Piscean friends as well.

I don't particularly care for the picture that goes with it, but the words and pic seems to be a pair, so it's included.

text from Matteo Guidicelli (I don't know whether he wrote it or not.)

Mysterious and alluring individuals, most Pisces are extremely talented, but even though they are gifted in many ways, they still manage to spend most of their lives battling "confusing" conditions. Pisces is the sign symbolised by the image of two fish. Their symbol depicts one fish heading upward, the other pulling downward. This mirrors how Pisceans are frequently torn between two pathways in life, or actually do live two very different existences at the same time.

The number 2, is a very powerful number for them. This zodiac sign is acknowledged as being the Saint and the Sinner rolled into one; the trendsetter of fashion or art, the lost soul, the philosopher and the psychotic and the visionary. As a credit to them, considering their many vulnerable characteristics; Pisceans are incredibly adaptable and resilient. They are to be found leading the field in many diverse areas of life and many Pisces can be found represented amongst top business millionaires. On the other side of the coin, prisons, reform schools and all kinds of institutions statistically hold a high number of Pisceans too.

The Piscean's inner quest to explore their "ivory tower" syndrome can lead them into some most unusual and unlikely living conditions. Of all the signs of the zodiac, Pisces are the ones who end up in the most muddles over the years of their lives. They fantasize about situations, people and particularly romance - and because they spend so much time in their own form of 'fantasy land' this can catch them short in other more worldly areas. Because of this inner world of fantasy, Pisces people seldom perceive whatever is going on around them in its true light. They see life instead as they want to see it, coloring their view of the world in hues and tones far removed from its true reflection. No wonder this is the sign of both miracles and disillusionment. If you are a Pisces, be warned your emotions are a weak spot.