Life Style: A Current State

The term lifestyle and the connotations thereof fascinate me to the point of temptation toward delving into its origins and how it became a symbol of status. But I won't. This is about me and mine. Somewhat of a time capsule (and since these aren't backed up) it may end up dissolving like the oral capsule.

Note to self: Backup this series. 

Genting Highlands, Malaysia foto by Jini

Here's the current state of my lifestyle; I work, I workout and I travel... in that order. I have a handful of close friends, one of which has the time and the interests in road-tripping around for eats, looking over real estate and shopping. I'm not a big shopper, but any opportunity to get out of the city I accept. Plus, we're a lot like twins... or more accurately Yin & Yang. In that we're very similar in ideology, although we approach life and lifestyle differently to end up at the same place.

My other close friends are pursuing careers and educations and/or family lives that are satisfying them and/or preparing them for their futures. I see them occasionally. Some of them live in other states and cities, but we're still close, in that way that transcends geographical distance.

I just realized, that as with the term lifestyle each element of my life can be a blog post in its own right, so I'd best exercise some discipline on this topic.

I've worked at the same job for about 28.5 years at this point. I've never been laid off or fired. Never been out of work for any amount of time since I enlisted in the US Navy. Yeah, I'm a veteran too. I've got the age the time and the ambition to retire from this current gig. I've chosen to leave at the end of this year, however I have yet to commit to this decision. In a way I am in transition and perhaps a self-imposed limbo. I have imagined what I'll do next, but haven't planned anything specific. I don't plan - I kind of dream and let life and opportunities happen. Again, this could go off somewhere, but let's move on.

Chillin' with first born, the unexpected blessing

I live in the house grew up in. I bought the house 10 years ago from my parents, as my dad was ill (and passed in 2008). Up until that point I'd been renting from the 'rents, paying the bills and so forth. I've made a few improvements, but haven't invested too much money into it, as I don't plan to stay here. In fact the current state of the neighborhood suggests that my timing is close to perfect. I should be out by December. I have declared I will not spend another winter in Philadelphia.

I've been a dad slightly less time than I've been at the gig. This gig and my first born came along at about the same time; serendipity I'd call it as neither were planned, although I knew each could happen and remain grateful for the synchronicity. Both of my children are off pursuing their dreams, living in cities other than here, so I have a few places to visit when I wrap things up at my current location.

Number 1 Son, Following his LA dream

I exercise every day. I used to be obsessed,  now I'm addicted (committed). I'm a fitness professional in addition to what I do at the main event. I've been teaching/leading group fitness classes/sessions since 2007. I'm pretty fit, however lately I've been getting tired sooner. My Auntie immediately cited my age. I told her, "Age is the last excuse." I don't buy the conventional statistics that we slow down with age. In fact I believe the opposite. So instead of taking it easy because I feel tired and weak (relatively speaking,) I go harder and longer. I'd stopped... for some reason, working out every day and went every other day instead; which is my theory as to why I was feeling as I was. So, I went hard two days straight and already stated to feel better. Unless something extreme happens, I won't be backing off again. I had to restate my personal standards - and work up to them again. And that's all I'll say about this, (except, I'll go hard again tomorrow.)

From regional road trips to meeting internet friends around the world, I get to travel a little bit. A little bit was a fine description a few years ago. I've been able to wander and explore more and more often in the past few years. Because I'm miserly when it comes to material wealth and status, and refuse to pay for unnecessary recurring services (i.e cable TV,) I can stash airfare, train fare and bus fare away for an adventure or two annually. I am not burdened by the expenses of a motor vehicle, which is kind of a double-edged sword as I miss those events I'd surely attend if I was still driving; but oh well - we prioritize don't we? What I like least about traveling is returning. It used to be returning to Philly; now it's returning to the US. The paranoia is palpable. On my last re-entry, I was instant-photoed (the way I used to do to prisoners at the gig), then thumb-printed before I even got to the customs inspector. It was pretty smooth after that; no undercover entrapment specialist walking a beagle came to sniff my crotch after this most recent trip.

Finally, a few notes for my future self to look back on and reminisce over or laugh about, depending on how the future unfolds. I am single and don't date per se. In case there's any doubt as to my preferences, I'm not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). I can imagine this, now classic line, will soon be coming after a declaration of heterosexuality as the future majority will be pansexual and/or polyamorous. "Straight" will mean depriving one's self of the joi de vie or the variety of what life has to offer.

More often than not I eat at home and cook my own food. I'm not a foodie, I'm not a vegan, I'm not Paleo, (but I'm closer to this than anything else), I'm not militantly organic. People, I'm happy to say, even those I've only recently met, recognize my Zen. However they mean it, I appreciate them for recognizing it.

I'm very much in transition as a human and a personality. I'm excited and a bit nervous about what comes next. I think about that day after the last day of work. As mentioned earlier I've been working for decades... probably four of them. I will probably work again. What I hope won't happen is the paper chase. I don't have ambitions of material wealth, status, or such as keeps the global economy healthily unhealthy. I picture myself as a Vagabond Philosopher teaching 6th to 8th graders about life and numbers and how the two relate; hosting meet-up groups/workshops coaching people on how to become effective and qualified group exercise instructors, or myself being a live-in personal trainer. Building houses, even if it's just hauling away the excess, for Habitat for Humanity and working on farms, whether it's in South Jersey, Wisconsin, or somewhere in India or New Zealand. I just want to keep moving, learn some good stuff, teach some good stuff, be with good people and then pass along what I've experienced.

Vagabond Philosopher, Pretty much how I envision my earth-self

If this blog lasts another decade or two, we'll all be able to witness the change - in my growth and perspective, in my attitude, and physically as well.

I think I can share this with you now. A few of you anyway.

Sometimes the spirit in me recognizes the spirit in others. What is that recognition? That we are everything that is was or will be. We are made of the same stuff as the universe because we are the universe. We are the hands on the wrists, the fingers on the hands, the nails, skin, hair, pores on the hand that's on the body that's in space-time. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.

That is all.

Namaste

200 Days

Memorial Day weekend and I drop down to 200 days; good timing.

I have nothing profound to say, just wanted to mark the day. But the longer I type the more likely something interesting will emerge.

Nothing yet. ha ha.

I'm not feeling a sense of urgency yet. Situations seem to be aligning themselves so that when I'm through with this career and retired, there will be opportunities for me to live very inexpensively, keep moving, help people improve their lives and lifestyles through fitness, health and magic while documenting and presenting the discoveries I encounter and lessons I will inevitably learn.

This may seem like a jumbled mass of words at the moment, but hopefully I know what I'm talking about.

Miami Living, Christmas on the Beach 2012

First stop is still Miami. second stop looks like it will be California, mostly likely Los Angeles... and working my way back to Singapore and certainly stopping in Malaysia. I wonder how realistic Europe will be from there? Will I be able to get to Spain for the ESL immersion (volunteer) session? Will I be able to get to Ireland for the wedding? Will I even want to leave Asia the next time I'm there? I have to be back in 2018 for a series of milestone birthdays... unless I can get them to where I am. Hmmm...

I'm fantasizing now, more than planning. I have to start getting rid of stuff with verve now. Sign up to Let-it-go and start letting it go.

I was debating on whether to let this go out my some of my closest friends. I'll consider that this week. I don't know if they'll even read it. I have to be brave... write as if no one will read it and then invite everyone to read it. I have some editing and proof reading to do, there are a lot of my typical spelling errors and type-ohs through out.

Okay, I've said too much.. I haven't said enough.

Cheers.

A Nice Text From a Good Friend

From E: 

Well, as I try to put my thoughts together about you moving away, I can be comforted in being able to say I was fortunate enough to have spent time with you, got to know you, laughed with you, cried happy and sad tears around you, learned so much about myself because of you and I can only hope that you won’t forget about me. You are part of my life. You are an inspiration and you have one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know. I feel very blessed to know someone who is so hard for me to say goodbye.

The Funky Luau, 2015 - The Pisces Dance

I want to remember this. Here seems like a good place…. She may not mind making an appearance here. 

Pisces Wonder Twins

I got to hang out with my 2011 Friend of the Year yesterday and it was exquisite. As I always say, "we meet the people in life we are destined to meet," and we might as well make the most of it.

Our introduction came by way of social media, although we have so many characteristics in common, not the least of which is our sun sign, we may have eventually crossed paths at some point; mutual acquaintance or some such... or maybe, probably I'd say now, social media was the way we were supposed to meet. After many false starts and re-schedules, we finally met as the sun was in the twelfth house, off of Rittenhouse Square over octopus.

Friend of the Year is a distinction I came up with this century to describe people I meet and expect to still be friends with five years later. During times when I was much more social and sociable, I became friendly to quickly with people who turned out not to be the kinds of people I wanted to be friends with, or the other way around. I looked at my core group and realized how long we'd known each other and decided it really takes about five years for people to learn each other, tolerate each other, communicate with each other, feel each other and thus become life-long friends, regardless of distance, life changes, sickness and health.

It's been five years now since Yael and I made that connection. She had to leave Philly, but comes back to visit every so often. We like to make it a point to get together, have a nosh, a drink or two, share philosophies, experiences, life updates and yesterday we shopped.

This piece found me. Magic is everywhere.

Whenever we're together our powers are amplified; the Pisces Magic happens and reality seems to shift in our favor (without taking anything away from anyone else's world). For me, this magic manifested simply in finding a tapestry that called to me in a South Street shop (Eyes Gallery) that I haven't set foot in for a long, long time and running into a work colleague from years ago.

The more I want to recount about yesterday's travels, the more I realize that words cannot capture the memories, the feelings... the power of being with my spiritual twin... dare I say soul mate? (In the most spiritual sense of the term.) I'll just use these words to hold the space so-to-speak, in this farewell to the home town chronicle.

Wrong Living

I spent too much time among the public today. The more I do that the more I realize that we, as a species, are not living right. Some might say I am "waking up" but waking up only means coming around to their way of thinking. Whose way? That's the question. It's a question that I don't have answers to. Besides, I haven't even explained what I mean by not living right; and i don't know if I can do that either.

Went to the doc's today for my annual physical. A physical is not like the physical I got when I was inducted into the Navy. It was more like an interview. The resident, a young be-speckled lady with rainbow socks, asked me if I had any questions. I had some about chiropractic, but she couldn't help me. I had questions about how I could improve my diet to fix or repair something - she couldn't help me there either.

I was trying to get a feel for her as a doctor and a person. She signaled clearly by her presence that she was in the life, but I don't know if I signaled that I picked up on it. There seemed to be a distance, might have been the age difference or maybe I let my facial language and vocals slip that I didn't have much faith in the medical industry. Nonetheless she gave me the options, as if they were the blue-plate specials of the day. They usually recommend and tetanus booster - not interested. She accepted that. I got the lifestyle questions; who I lived with, sex life, smoke, drink, that sort of thing, family history.

BP was what they call high... anything over 120/80 and they want to put a patient on Statins. "Put me on drugs?" I'm thinking... nope. My BP is normal for me for reasons I understand and if I need to lower it, I'll do it without drugs.

I was offered two types of drugs, a shot and a blood screening, (test) for prostate cancer, that may or may not be accurate... which means it's not. I accepted that one - why? Because they were taking blood anyway. But after it was all done, I realized it's just another way to bill my insurance. DUH! Then they decided to order a cholesterol screening because mine has been running towards high... By whose assessment? I told the last doc I'll start worrying when it's over 225. Since I learned cholesterol is the main ingredient of many hormones, including testosterone, I'm not going to sweat it and I'm certainly not taking drugs to lower it. (Which reminds me, when I was interested in lowering it I took Red Yeast Rice and it worked. I documented it.)

Random, meaningless photo; Costa Rica, c. 2009 (mancation)

The physical part was like a guy considering buying a car. He knows a bit about cars, so he walks around it, kicks the tires, listens to the engine run, maybe looks under the hood, and kicks the tires again and turns on the windshield wipers. It may have been a combination of my doc's newness, if she was indeed new - most of whom I've seen are residents - or, to my credit, it could have been that I was clearly, from her perspective, a healthy specimen and she just went through the motions. If that is the case, I am indeed grateful. As a professional, she couldn't just blurt out, "why did you bother to come in?" Which she may have, in a more professional way; I remember telling her, "I come for the numbers."

Sitting in waiting rooms with sick and often lonely people while The View was blaring its incessant perspective to a cheering collection of drones was excruciating. I tried my best to zone out all conversations, but ended up choosing the lesser of the evils... so I tuned out The View.

I came home mentally exhausted which I attributed to the blood letting (and 12 hour fast), but it was probably do to a mild state of depression (oh, yeah that was one of the interview topics as well) from witnessing first hand the morbid state of humanity. It was just a small sampling, but it seems to align with what I've been hearing about the state of medical management (as opposed to care) in the US. (Of course it may have aligned because of my own expectations, as well.)

Group fitness sessions at Temple brought me back. I didn't even realize it was the last day of the Spring Session. I'm off until May 10th. May already!! That's five months gone and seven to go.

Anyway, returning from Temple paradise, I once again realized how poorly "we're" living. The majority of us accept it because we don't know there's anything better. Some of us suspect there's something better, but don't know how to get to it. Others find their way to something better by assimilating into the dominant culture, but are still living against nature (and don't ask me what that means yet, because I cannot explain it intelligently.)

At this point - call it a state of awakening and observing - I am not interested in doing anything about anyone else's situations. I have yet to conjure and execute my own plan for either dealing with the illusion or breaking (or dropping) out of it. Were I to emerge as a leader or guru at this point I might lead my followers into a more dire situation. Were I to find a path to a state of presumed freedom it might be a path that only I could navigate and get through. Don't the mystics tell us we all need to find our own path? Yeah, good excuse.

I don't want to seem as if I am disparaging my doctor. If there was any impression to get, it was that she was just passing through this stage of her career/education. She was reading a script, playing by the rules, as she had someone to which to answer... that 2 - 3 minute guest visit with the "preceptor" who asks if the student asked and answered everything she was supposed to answer and ask. I feel like my doc might move from medicine to something more holistic... or maybe that's just my hope.


These pix are from our Costa Rica "Mancation" of 2009. They have nothing to do with the blog... just thought I'd post them for the heck of it. I'm a rebel. 

Tough Girls/Tough Women

For some reason I'm thinking about women who have told me they were tough. The ones I have in mind are also short, around 5 feet tall. They've never told me their definition of tough, but one characteristic they have in common is, in their words, cursing like a sailor. I didn't have the heart, back then, to break it to them that "cursing doesn't make you tough."

Toughness is one of those amorphous traits that is hard to pin down because it's in the eye of the beholder. For instance, the women in mind equated aggressive language with toughness. I wondered where they got that idea, although I thought it prudent not to question it. Probably television; and further down the stream the men in and around their lives who they considered tough, probably learned how to act tough from television.

America's idea of tough, is a gun and a smoke.. Linda Hamilton, Terminator II

(But, then how was toughness defined and learned before mass media? Perhaps that discussion will come later.)

As a lover and admirer of people in general, and women in particular, I've noticed in many cases that those who self-identify as tough aren't very tough when it comes to the issues in their lives that they should be tough about. They might feel that dropping "f-bombs" here and there will cover up the weaknesses of their addiction to a substance or their codependent relationship(s), or their recurring illnesses. They might consider themselves tough if they can consume more hard liquor than the town drunk. These are actually (by which I mean usually) ways of avoiding the issues they are not tough enough to deal with.

Etymologically speaking, most of the words we use to describe people were first used to describe other objects. Tough is no exception; from Old English, strong and firm in texture, tenacious, sticky. As we can see, there's nothing about talking in its origin.

A tough person, is therefore strong; we can say strong it attitude, in convictions. A strong person is not dependent on substances and/or people that make them weak. A tenacious person never gives up, never quits until the goal is met or a need fulfilled.

What brought this blog into being was the idea that tough girls might display their perception of toughness with a sharp tongue and a cigarette carelessly hanging on the lips. They may feign disdain for symbols of status they are too weak to attain. They may endure an abusive relationship occasionally getting into fights with their partners to prove to themselves that they are really tough.

Whereas tough women, have or develop the strength and if necessary the cleverness and wisdom to defeat any addiction they might have that is holding them back, or diminishing their health; they have the confidence and power to walk into an uncertain future and away from a relationship that is hurting them both physically and mentally. They don't quit just because some asshole is giving them a hard time - they know that most of the time endurance is more powerful than harassment.

Fake tough is loud, boisterous and ultimately hollow. Real toughness is stealth, it's implied, and it doesn't present itself until it's necessary. It strikes with certainty and moves on with no regrets. And once it's realized and understood by those it must be directed against, it brings respect. Mad respect!

My Secret Desire(s)

The universe - and social media - are telling me two things; 1. 2016 is a year of transition and I am transforming, and 2. that I'm looking for love, secretly perhaps, regardless of the fact that I finally had the heart to add Find the love of my life to my top five list of things to do.

The latest nudge... Cyber space invited me to "Discover Which Emotion Your Subconscious Is Trying To Hide," by way of a test in which I choose several tarot cards based on which one catches my eye. I'm encouraged not to think too much about it; tough task for me, but I went for it.

That's about right, looks just like me too.

Here are the results... (I cannot resist these tests.)

Tarot: Your subconscious is hiding a deep and passionate love. It may be a romantic love or a passion in life, either way you are deeply in love with someone or something. The Tarot reveals a true romance, love affair, or strong passion ruling your subconscious and directing your actions from behind the scenes. You're sensitive and may even be a bit vulnerable, but you have a great deal of kindness and compassion for those around you. If you're currently in a relationship, this is one of the, if not THE, great love of your life. Listen to your heart, and you'll never go astray!


My take - I think it's more someTHING than someOne, and I'd say life itself and discovery. But at any moment someone could come into my life and answer all my questions.

I'm just down with the universe and getting away from here. It's worth noting that leaving Philadelphia comes ahead of Finding the love of my life.

Significant People

Often I will auto-write. That is, just write and whatever comes out, goes on the page, no editing. Sometimes I don't even correct the spelling.

At some point I wrote that I didn't want to waste my last months here's with people that bring me down, or seem to rely on me to listen to their problems. In my own way I vowed to spend my time with significant people. 

Last night I spent time with some of the most significant people I know. First a guy who's become like a brother, and even that description falls short. He's like a spiritual twin - and even that is worth a more in depth description, (but that will have to come later.) And then, the Fram... the band; the, or a core group, met up for lovin' up  and discussions and updates at The Cafe... and this place deserves greater description also, but that too will come later. I just wanted to acknowledge and remember this evening.

Significant People.. Fram @ Cafe 3-26-2016 f. by Tim.

Pisces Sun - Virgo Moon

I was born under a Full Moon in Virgo. I never really got into astrology, but when i heard about it I started reading my "charts" or at least about my characteristics. A lot of it seemed accurate and during the course of life i either became more Pisces, or Pisces became more me, in that I may have fashioned my personality to fit that which was described in astrology charts.

As i wrote this, it seems doubtful. On the one fish, I'm so contrary that I'd probably resist going along with the flow, on the other fish, I'm not sure we can stray very far from where our personality is supposed to be. In addition to the sun and the planets, I am a result of my surroundings and experiences. The times in which I've lived and the methods I've chosen to deal with the information I absorb from the world.

The last paragraph was very enlightening.I have highlighted some sentences that resonated with me.

Flashback image from April 2008... City Hall, Philadelphia

by Grant Lewi 

This comes from http://horoscopespot.net/pisces-sun-virgo-moon/

You are able to put your intuitions over and to bring them to bear logically on your life. You are a good judge of people, with an absolute determination of the correctness of your judgments. Once you are determined about the inner worth of an individual, nothing he can do, however erratic or unreasonable or reprehensible, will shake your faith in him; you understand him from the inside out, and you are willing to let him work out his own problems in his own way. You believe that “to understand all is to forgive all,” and though you are a harsh judge when you estimate a person to be fundamentally unsound, you are equally lenient when you know that the core of his being is sound. Your tolerance is specific rather than universal, intellectual rather than emotional, for you apply to your intuitions a high degree of logic and common sense by which you can make them plausible, both to yourself and others. This integration of facts felt and facts known gives you a quiet self-assurance which rises from the working together of your mental and emotional natures; these are not generally found at variance with each other.

You don’t find yourself doing by impulse things of which you disapprove; and though you may do things of which others disapprove, you have a good reason of your own why you are all right. Your conscience is a real force, but as you are tolerant of others you are also tolerant of yourself, and though you won’t often stray from the beaten track, when you do, you do it calmly and without excitement – with a quiet conviction that you are acting according to some code or other, which you may have made up for the occasion, but which is very real and definite to you. But, by and large, you will lead a conventional, orderly, and understanding life.  

You have a keen sense of humor, laughing readily, which may not give an accurate impression of your fundamentally serious nature. You are amused by life at the same time that you are acutely conscious of its underlying tragic implications. But this consciousness does not interfere with your enjoyment.  

You have a private litany of faith, a sort of exclusive metaphysics of your own, by which you weave together apparent contradictions into the integrated philosophy by which you live and estimate life. This position is mildly good for business activity of the non-executive variety, and also for such creative work as calls for accuracy, thought, and application, rather than inspirational creativeness. Makes good humorists and joke-smiths.

Shred - 008

I've stopped short of calling this a Fitness Regimen, a challenge or one of the seemingly annual, sometimes biannual fitness routines that I initiate around this time of year; but maybe it is. I was in Florida after two weeks in Asia where i wasn't able to get my normal exercise in, although I was walking a lot and did some AM calisthenics. Anyway, in Florida I had access to the gym and since i was jet lagging, I'd get up early and workout. My daughter and I decided to simply, Shred, this would be our action word... the first word, I, at least would say in the morning to remind me to work out.

This appeared during a walk through Philly

Because we have an unofficial workout crew on social media, I decided, to keep myself accountable, that I'd update my status with a "Shred - ###" implying that this could go on for at least 100 days. Who knows, maybe it will, or maybe I will miss a day and have to start over again.

So I took some eval pix to remember... 3-22-16

During this Shred phase, I hit my 3:1 (Muscle mass:Body fat) ratio goal. Managed to hold onto it for two days and then lost it. Today, Shred - 008, I reclaimed it with 3.06:1 ratio and a reading of 14.5% body fat, just over 25 lbs., of fat which means I'll have to adjust my goal downward to.. let's say 22 lbs. (easier to tackle than 20).

This 8th day of Shredding puts me over the one week mark, which seems significant. I trained outside today, ate well and walked for a good 30 - 40 minutes. The full moon is in Libra, and the fact that it's a full moon may be what's giving me the energy. I was also off from work and fitness training today, so I had the whole day to myself.

Much needed and much appreciated.

...what 3:1 looks like... looks to me...

...like there's more Shredding to be done.

I've got about 268 or so days to do it. My aim... 170 lbs +/- 2... on the day I retire. I don't even know how to predict body fat... so I'll shoot for 11-12% ... with an open mind, that maybe I can hit 10%, but not mad if i don't.

Namaste

My Mandala

So this test came my way and I decided to go for it. I'm a sucker for these; seems like I've always been.

But why? Because I don't know myself. Apparently, and I'll speak for myself here, I can no more know myself that I can bite my own teeth. This is something I learned and accepted from recordings of Alan Watts, a twentieth century philosopher and lecturer who seems to be the subject of a sort of revival these days.

The idea that I cannot know myself because I am indeed everything that there is, or an extension thereof. So, I recognize my self in relation to the rest of the world. A composite of how others perceive me. My aunts and my mother's friends would always comment on how handsome I was, but I somehow never believed it. For some reason I still don't. Possibly, the reason I look in the mirror so often, is because I'm looking for it on my face, even though I know (or don't believe) it's there.

Okay, so anyway. In this materialistic world I've found that I am not so much as I am, or was, but what I've fashioned myself to be. I have this relationship with my astrological sign, Pisces as well as my Myers-Briggs personality profile. When reading both, and it's been consistent over the decades, I recognize parts of myself in there and because it's comfortable to me, not only have I adopted them into my personality matrix, but I amplify them as well, to the point of being evangelical about it. For instance, I will associate and even become friends with most astrological signs, but when it comes to romance, I stay away from Leos (Fire); mainly due to uncomfortable histories. Romantically I shy away from extroverts as well; not simply because my personality profile (introvert) says so, but because I honestly (as honest as I can be) find them mentally draining and emotionally hard to keep up with. Platonically, however, they are very entertaining.

Indeed, now that I think of it, since I've fashioned myself into this state of being, if I ever find it to be uncomfortable or not in my best interest, I could refashion myself into something else. Keep an eye out for this, it could happen. 

So, as for the Mandala, I was staring at the 20 offerings and fixated on this one...

Transformation

Very accurate for where I am right now.

The final paragraph resonates with me... I am transitioning into a new light and also a new life. This will mean in some cases discarding anything; old ideas, maybe some obsolete values, that is holding me back, mostly stuff. Not so much people, mainly because, to my knowledge, and especially in this century, I've not allowed myself to become so attached as to allow anyone to hold me back.

I don't even know how many days I have left here. I think time will begin to  accelerate during the last 100 days. Maybe I'll start keep track then. Until that time, here's to Transformation.

Kirtan (Keer-tan) Carnival

Hare Krishna

Hare Krishna

Krishna Krishna

Hare Hare

Hare Rama

Hare Rama

Rama Rama

Hare Hare

These are all the lyrics to all the songs that were song last night at Kirtan, a meet up group that gathers first Fridays over top of a restaurant down town. It was my first time there, my first time at a meet up and my first time at such an event. 

It's more spiritual than religious, which I like to think I am. I'm not really looking for anything. It's more like I'm feeling  for something. That feeling is what other people describe as the spirit coming through them. While I was there I tried to relax my body, which is something I have a very hard time doing, unless I'm asleep, and I'm not sure I even do it then. I came close, but I didn't completely let go. 

I know, it's me. 

We've been hangin' for decades now... The stories... (2015)

Afterwards, a quick, brisk (cold, that is) walk to the other end of "Center City" to catch up with my Roll Dawg for a nosh and catch up at Tria, and a random meet with a friend from earlier in the century. And then off to Trestle Inn for carnival hosted and curated by DJs Argo and Lexx. I just shook my ass to some samba, in honor of Mardi Gras/Carnival, which I hear won't be happening in Rio this year. This is as close as I get to relaxing, in a circle of dancers just moving, usually with my eyes closed, no drama, no pick ups, no one-night-stands. I danced up a good sweat and in about 90 minutes it was time to go.

Much gratitude.

DJs Argo & Lexx, Jet Bar (2013)... they always rock the yard!!!

Now, here's my theory as to why the spirit doesn't enter me, and hasn't entered me during such times as funerals (in churches) and Kirtan... because it's already there. If your music is turned up loud, you're not going to hear anything else unless it comes louder. Whatever I have... what I call magic drowning out everything else. It's getting in there, and most likely getting absorbed by what's already going on. 

It's nice to be able to have new experiences. It's nice to be able to party with the cats who throw the party.

TV Down, and Out

Today I took a major step towards freedom. 

I dismantled this television and put it out for trash.

For me, it's the equivalent of dumping all the alcohol

in my cabinets. Back in 2006 when the television

stations stopped transmitting via the airwaves, I was like,

"phuqqit, I just won't watch." I'd quit being hooked on

TV when X-Files went off the air, but I still used this set

to watch DVD movies - got some great memories too, ha ha. 

It had been sitting on my porch for several years

because I don't like discarding perfectly good

appliances, obsolete or not. No one wanted it

so out it went today. Of course I made a video, which

as always, I may or may not share. 

Another step closer to being out of Philadelphia. 

It's a good day.

Path of Destiny (Part 1)

Interesting image for this piece, don't you think??

I think this will become a multi-part series. Things change. Right now as I'm pecking this out I have at least two ideas for essays and I'm just waiting to see which one will run through my fingers and onto the screen

Today I learned a "trick" with water and dreams that's hard to explain. It may come later. i call such things tricks because they have metaphysical explanation. I don't have the words or experience to relate them yet, so I don't. Learning the trick made me think again about what I want, what I want to do, who I want to be, within this vessel of course, and where I want to be.

Where is easy... I want to be everywhere, in the flesh, I mean and not at the same time. I'm learning how this can be possible. My dreams - which I don't like calling them, are presenting themselves to me as a server might present tapas for my culinary inspection.

I've been compiling a list within the afore mentioned categories and here's what came up most often.

#1 - Live (healthy, wise, & reasonably well) to the age of 210. I've even picked the day on which I will give up this vessel and transcend. In order to reach this age I will have to acquire more knowledge and skills and continuously adjust my lifestyle strategies. I will probably be able to bring a few friends and family along with me.

#2- Leave Philadelphia, which is the theme of this blog. I want to add, 'and never come back' but I plan to visit my hometown the way Planet X occasionally visits our solar system... just not as infrequently.

#3 - This is a bold one; Find the love of my life. I've heard that term bounced around for better than 20 years now and it has only been recently that I realized that this was something that has not happened for me. So, why not. Without going into my psychological failings and my personality type, suffice to say, I think I'd like to have this experience.

#4 - Live and support myself globally. I've amassed a skills-set, experience and knowledge and discipline that theoretically allow me to sustain myself anywhere in the world. One place I have in mind is Aruba. Why? Just because. There are a number of sub-goals that accompany this one (and the others as well) which would enable me to flesh out a list of 100, possibly.

#5 - None of my stated goals have anything to do with large sums of money. All I've ever wanted, is all I've ever needed. This is one of the mantras I keep in mind. Thus, what I need has most of the time (I shy away from saying always) come my way, be it in the form of Angels in the original sense of the word, messengers; who have given or led me to information that put me or led me to the path of destiny; knowledge and training I've needed to earn the money I've needed for something else; or even the money I've been able to use to help someone else out, specifically my children.

#6 - Just today I had the thought that I want an indestructible nervous system, and while I'm at it, an indestructible immune system as well. These go in the subheading of Health, under the heading of Longevity, i.e. living 210 years. I'm not certain how I'll be able to achieve these goals, but as previously stated, there is more knowledge and training coming along this path of destiny.

I'm confident I'll be revisiting this concept many more times before the end of this year, and then afterwards as well. For now, I think I'll sleep on when I just wrote, and help the universe manifest it in a way I can accept it and utilize it most wisely.

Fin

Mi Casa, Mi Lifestyle

I like coming home, and into my house. It's dark and sparse. Not sparse enough, however. Not that there's anything in the way, it's just that there's too much stuff in here that's not mine and I find it hard to get rid of. But that's another story.

I come in, the house is dark and quiet. First thing I do is turn on a light and then I turn on music. Third task, today, is writing this... my thoughts. I have a lot of thoughts during my commute and most of the time lose them by the time I sit down to jot them down.

At the moment I'm annoyed with Adele; not her personally, but her song. I don't like it, but it stays in my head. I think it's one of those songs that was arranged to do just that. All I can remember is the chorus - I won't repeat it here. Okay, that's over.

1-25-2016 Maybe? Maybe Not!

I shaved all my maleness off of my face yesterday and now I look more feminine, I think. Not that it's a bad look. Androgyny was a big trend in the 1980s, but I didn't partake. I'm not trying to make any statements now either, I'm just being honest... with myself, at least.

Now, as I look at the image, I may be wrong. Oh well. Not that I want to be female, or even want to look like a lady. I just, looking in the mirror, thought I did.



Well, I'm at a loss now. Something came to mind about wanting to be tougher, although I think I'm pretty tough - not in a tough guy looking for fights way; but a willingness to do without certain comforts so that I will not get soft or lazy. I want to be stronger as well. Comfort doesn't make us strong. I also want more mental toughness.

People might think, at this age I should start slowing down and trying to get more comforts. I'm just not there yet. I'm a late bloomer. I could go another 20 or 30 years before I start thinking about slowing down, and chilling out. That will give me time to check out different parts of the world; different people and traditions. I did almost 30 years at this gig, it would balanced to do at least that much time living as freely as is possible on this planet, or in this society... if I continue within the confines of this society; but again, a subject for another time.

Well, now it's time for the protein shake I usually consume after my Moonday exercise obligations. I think I've gotten most of my thoughts out. This is a good exercise as well. I may indulge more often.

Pisces - Miracles & Disillusionment

Pulled this off the net today. I am Pisces and in true Pisces fashion I'm not sure whether my characteristics reflect my sign, or I've fashioned myself to what I've read over the years. In most cases I can say, "Yeah, that's me." And I recognize the traits of several of my Piscean friends as well.

I don't particularly care for the picture that goes with it, but the words and pic seems to be a pair, so it's included.

text from Matteo Guidicelli (I don't know whether he wrote it or not.)

Mysterious and alluring individuals, most Pisces are extremely talented, but even though they are gifted in many ways, they still manage to spend most of their lives battling "confusing" conditions. Pisces is the sign symbolised by the image of two fish. Their symbol depicts one fish heading upward, the other pulling downward. This mirrors how Pisceans are frequently torn between two pathways in life, or actually do live two very different existences at the same time.

The number 2, is a very powerful number for them. This zodiac sign is acknowledged as being the Saint and the Sinner rolled into one; the trendsetter of fashion or art, the lost soul, the philosopher and the psychotic and the visionary. As a credit to them, considering their many vulnerable characteristics; Pisceans are incredibly adaptable and resilient. They are to be found leading the field in many diverse areas of life and many Pisces can be found represented amongst top business millionaires. On the other side of the coin, prisons, reform schools and all kinds of institutions statistically hold a high number of Pisceans too.

The Piscean's inner quest to explore their "ivory tower" syndrome can lead them into some most unusual and unlikely living conditions. Of all the signs of the zodiac, Pisces are the ones who end up in the most muddles over the years of their lives. They fantasize about situations, people and particularly romance - and because they spend so much time in their own form of 'fantasy land' this can catch them short in other more worldly areas. Because of this inner world of fantasy, Pisces people seldom perceive whatever is going on around them in its true light. They see life instead as they want to see it, coloring their view of the world in hues and tones far removed from its true reflection. No wonder this is the sign of both miracles and disillusionment. If you are a Pisces, be warned your emotions are a weak spot.